I Am What I Am

I'm feeling a bit like Popeye today.  Minus the muscles, pipe, and spinach.  So, really more like Olive Oyl. Except with a gut.  And slightly smaller feet.

Apparently I am really bad with analogies today.  Goodness.  Moving on.......

I had a craptacular run today.  It wasn't even a run, really.  It was mostly a walk.  Partly a shuffle.  Occasionally, I think I actually did something that could qualify as running.  In the hour that I was out at the park, walking and shuffling and running, I was doing a lot of thinking.

Most of the thinking went like this: "I SUCK at this! I've been doing this for over two years now, you'd think I'd be better at it by now.  I mean, really.  Oh, crap, here comes a runner.  Should I speed up, or would that be totally obvious? She's not looking at me anyway, and oh - she passed me already. Right. Because she's running.   What am I doing? How long have I been out here?  God, only 40 minutes?  No way am I making it to two hours today.  As soon as I get to the car, I'm done.  I'm not doing another loop.  I can do a two hour run on Saturday.  Or Sunday.  Sunday is Mother's Day.  I get the day "off."  So I can go for a two hour run and not feel guilty, right?  Or I could just sleep in.  Sleep is good.  Holy hell, where is the damn car???"

When I got home from the park, I made myself a huge salad and sat on the couch, eating and feeling sorry for myself.  Then an old friend called and while we were chatting, I started to feel better, until she mentioned these "crazy people" that were doing run/walk intervals during the half marathon she just did.  I spoke up, trying to explain that it's actually a valid way to race, and that I've done it.... but my heart just wasn't in it.  I was feeling so crappy that I couldn't even defend myself, so I just shut up.

Last fall, I ran 12 miles with only one (60 second) walk break.  Lately, I can hardly run 1 mile without walking.  I've finished two half marathons, two 10 mile races, a bunch of 5Ks.  I've run over 900 miles since I started running, and yet today I'm sitting here feeling  like a fraud for calling myself  a runner.

Why?  Because I walk sometimes.

Then I got to thinking.  Jeff Galloway has a bajillion followers (give or take a few gajillion).  That means that there are plenty of people out there running races using run/walk intervals.  Fast people, slow people, old people, young people.

There are also people who run Ultras - people who can run 50Ks, 50 Milers, 100 milers.... and they walk during them, sometimes.  When the terrain is rough, or when they just need to give their minds and bodies a break.  Could anyone dare say those badasses are not runners because sometimes they walk?

So what's my problem, exactly?

I guess I'm just having a bad day.  I'm hoping that tomorrow I'll wake up and feel differently about things, because I certainly don't enjoy feeling this way.  Maybe I'd feel better if there was another term I could call myself instead of a runner.  Maybe ...  endurance athlete?  Idiot ? Either of those could probably apply.  

Either way, as Popeye says, I am what I am and that's all that I am....   Whatever that may be. 

Book Learnin'

I love to read.  I read for pleasure every day, and sometimes stay up entirely too late because I'm reading and I can't put the book down.

With the advent of the "e-reader," I read even more - and all kinds of things that I probably wouldn't read otherwise.   Since I started running, I've been reading books on - you guessed it - running!  I actually started my running journey with a book called Run Your Butt Off.   It's similar in concept to the "Couch to 5K" plans that are everywhere, but it also focuses on nutrition, and has a more personal approach, IMO.

Other books that I've read (in no particular order) are:

• Run Like a Mother
• Train Like a Mother
• The Spirit of The Marathon (not to be confused with the movie of the same name) 
• Marathon: The Ultimate Training Guide
• The Ultimate Running Guide
• Runner's World Big Book of of Marathon and Half Marathon Training
• The Do-It-Yourself Half Marathon Plan (more of a pamphlet than a book, really)
• Short Fat Chick to Marathon Runner
• Honey, Do You Need a Ride?
• Confessions of a Fat Marathoner
• Run to Overcome
•  An Accidental Athlete
• Sole Sisters: Stories of Women and Running
• Runner's World Best: Getting Started
• Runner's World Guide to Road Racing
• Half-Marathon: A Complete Guide For Women
• Marathoning for Mortals
• The Complete Book of Running for Women
• Going Long: Legends, Oddballs, Comebacks & Adventures
• Eat and Run: My Unlikely Journey to Ultramarathon Greatness
• Kara Goucher's Running for Women
• Runner's World Complete Book of Women's Running
• Running for Mortals
• Running Shoes Are a Girl's Best Friend
• Grandma Wears a Running Skirt
• The Competitive Runner's Handbook 

Holy cow, when I write them all down like that, it seems insane.  But, I told you that I like to read. 

A lot of them I got to read for free (thank you, Amazon Prime!!), others I paid for.  A lot of them were repetitive, and some of them were written so long ago that it's actually amusing to see how much has changed.  All of them, though, were interesting in some way, and helpful in feeding my insatiable appetite for all things running related.    I think "Run to Overcome" was my favorite of the story/novel types - if any of you are Meb fans, you should check it out.  Of the "this is how to run" books....  I'm not sure which is my favorite.  I do know that I am not partial to Kara Goucher's writing (sorry, girl!) or Jeff Galloway's.  Other than that, they were all decent.  It just depends on what you're looking to get out of them, I guess. 

Have you read any running books? Do you think I'm crazy because I have?

Cherry Blossom 10-Miler

Entirely too exhausted mentally as well as physically to bore ya'll with a full report, so here's the short and sweet version.

Today, I ran past a bunch of these:

Sorry for the blury, it's hard to walk and photograph.

After I finished running past all of them, I got one of these: 

My first medal ever! 

Super thrilled with my time, super bummed that I now feel like death warmed over.  Seriously, I feel like I have a hangover, and this happened after my last couple of long runs, too.  I am either not getting enough water, or not getting enough nutrition.  Either way, it's crappy.    

So, to recap.  Awesome race, totally thrilled...... except for the headache and nausea that I am currently experiencing.  Yay me! =)

Michelle also ran this race today, and graciously waited for me after she finished.  She kicked butt during the race, but I'll let her tell you about it. =)

Now, for a nap! 

Experimenting Doesn't Make Me Kinky!

Over the weekend, I was thinking  (once again) about how my training had totally fallen apart and wondering how I could best salvage it for my two upcoming races.  I started thinking about Jeff Galloway, and his "run/walk" philosophy.  I started running using Run Your Butt Off, a program similar to the ever popular "Couch to 5K," so I am extremely familiar with "run a little, walk a little, run a little, walk a little."  

Since  having "graduated" from RYBO, however, I have not really intentionally done the run/walk thing.  I have walked during runs, sure, but not at set intervals (unless doing interval training).   Saturday night, I set my Garmin 10 for a 2 min run/1 min walk interval.   (If you're wondering, I kind of pulled those numbers out of my rear end.  Galloway has a set plan of what the ratio should  be based on your expected pace, but I've never really been very good at listening, plus who the heck knows what my pace would be?)

Yesterday afternoon, I headed out.  I won't bore you with all the details, but I will say this - by using the 2/1 ratio, I managed 9 miles in an average pace of 12:33.  Last week's 8 mile run, where I did walk, but only when I was too tired/mentally blah to run, was at a pace of 13:25.   Huge difference.   I did struggle a little yesterday, because my running intervals were on the fast side (for me!), but I got through 5 miles before really feeling tired at all, and after struggling a bit during miles 6 and 7, I got back on track for the last two miles.

I was sore and had an upset stomach when I got home (need to work on fueling - being on my feet for nearly 2 hours is a lot for me!), but after some dinner and a bath, I felt fine.  My legs feel great today, though DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) could kick in tomorrow and make me regret saying that, but I doubt it.  

So, what did my little experiment teach me?  I learned that run/walking is not a bad way to get through a long run - but I also learned that it's not really for me.  I will be using it in my next few long runs, and to get through my 10 mile race, but after that, I want to get back to "regular" running.  It's not that I think there's anything wrong with run/walking, it's just that it's not what I want to do.  I am grateful, however, that it's an available option for me at this point, because I know I'm in no shape to actually RUN my 10 mile race.  One day, I will be, but not this time around.  And I'm ok with that.