How is it that individual days can seem so slow, yet you blink and entire months have gone by?
I can't believe it's the 3rd of April already (and nearly the 4th, as I type this!). I feel like just yesterday it was the New Year. Already I'm facing my first weekend of racing for 2014, with back to back races coming up this Saturday and Sunday. I am incredibly, undeniably, not in shape to run either of these races - even at a "leisurely" pace. Due to some unfortunate family circumstances, I didn't run at all in the past week, and today when I went out to try to get in a "shake out" run before this weekend, I barely managed two miles before I admitted defeat.
My legs are heavy. I haven't slept well in days. I'm not ready in any way for this weekend. Saturday is a 5K that I'm only running because I really want to meet some internet friends "in real life." (Did you know Facebook isn't considered real life? Weird. I talk to my FB friends more often than I talk to my husband most weeks!) So Saturday I'm not skipping. Sunday, however, I could just bag. I'm not going to the race with anyone, no one is meeting me there, no one would even care if I didn't go. But every time I think about not running the race, I get sad.
I looked back at my "training" log from last spring, and my running going into the Cherry Blossom race last year was rather dismal. And I still managed to have a great day, and finish in a time I never would have expected. So what is it about this year that has me convinced of certain doom? I don't know. Something feels different this year. Maybe because it's a year later and I'm still making the same stupid mistakes. Maybe I'm just angry with myself for not being in better shape. Maybe I just don't think lightening can strike twice. Who knows.
I guess by 10 a.m. on Sunday, I'll either have proved myself wrong, or be sitting in the back of a SAG wagon. Either way, I'll probably be crying. LOL