The Fat Lady Sings

Apparently, I can stop running, stress eat, grieve the dog we had to put to sleep, binge-watch Netflix, sleep too much, move as little as possible, and then. . .   Rebound.   Apply for jobs.  Have a great vacation with my husband and kids.  Start moving again.  Feel hopeful for the first time in ages. 

I suppose it's the circle of life and all that crap.  Or maybe the circle of my undiagnosed, probably not really real, mood issues.  Highs and lows that aren't high and low enough to really amount to much, other than some times when I just kind of  - pause.  Stop participating in my own life.  Usually it doesn't last as long as this recent bout, but hey, like I said.  Dead dog.  Stress.  It's been hectic. 

Not that I'm looking for pity.  Just maybe a nod, an understanding, and a mutual agreement not to talk about it and to just move forward.  We can do that, right, interwebs?  I mean, it's not like there haven't been other bloggers, other women, who have disappeared into the ether.  At least I have the decency to come back.  Wait, did I say decency?  I meant hubris.  Because, really, it's kind of egotistical to think that you're still reading, right?  That's ok.  I like talking to myself. 

So. To recap.  Here's what June looked like for me:

• Dealt with a steadily declining incontinent elderly dog
• Finally met, in person, 3 of the most awesome women on the planet (also discovered that Kansas is not flat, but that's all a story for another time)
• Stopped running
• Tried to withdraw from the 6 hour race that's at the end of this month, but got talked into walking it (thanks Michelle)
• Officially withdrew from the 24 hour race in Cleveland

Then came July:

• Started taking training walks with Michelle, during which I developed the worst blisters I've ever had
• Had our dog put to sleep, ate everything in sight
• Hit my highest ever non-pregnant weight
• Started applying for jobs
• Went on vacation with my family and decided to get over myself
• Got a partial refund and a nice hand-written note from the race director in Cleveland
• Started this blog post

That's all I've got so far.  I don't know what tomorrow's going to look like. But today I feel good.  Clean slate-y.  I think it's going to be alright.