After the kids were in bed last night, I called to my husband, "I'm going out for a run!" His response? "You are????"
*sigh* You know you've been a lazy slacker for entirely too long when your husband actually sounds incredulous when you tell him you're going for a run. I will admit to a snarky reply, but I won't repeat it here.
I headed out, deciding that I would just see let the entire run happen organically. No plan, no pressure, just moving feet and a general idea of about 30 minutes. Turns out that not having ever been fast, and having always been fairly inconsistent in my running actually turned out to be helpful. I had no ego to contend with, no expectations to meet, and I was just able to cruise (plod) along, enjoying the silence and the time outside.
I was a sweaty mess when I got home, due to the temps and humidity, but it felt good.
While I was out there, I remembered thinking last year that I just wanted to get to the point where I was running 3 - 5 miles, a few times a week, at a "decent" pace. I just wanted to go out for a half hour to an hour each night, enough to clear my head and keep my weight in check (though at this point, I need to lose 20 lbs before I can worry about keeping things "in check").
It was never my plan to be a long distance runner. I once railed against the idea of running a half marathon, and then all of a sudden I'm signing up for timed events and talking about going on hours-long training runs? I'm not sure what I was thinking. I guess talking to so many talented runners who truly "go the distance" got to me, and I wanted to be like them. To accomplish something great. The truth is, though, that it's just not me. Or, at least, not right now, not at this point in my running "career."
I just want to run. Whatever that looks like. I have nothing to prove to anyone, and trying to do things that are not really in my nature is only going to leave me discouraged (or hurt). I'd rather just run a few miles here and there and be happy with that.
I will likely still sign up for races every now and again, but my sights are set lower, and I'm reminded of why I fell in love with running in the first place - because it makes me happy.