I knew I'd need a few days after the race - though it didn't end up being for the reasons I'd thought. I'd assumed my legs would need a break - but as slow as my race was, my legs felt completely fine afterwards. I needed the break mentally. So I took a few days. No problem. But then when I went to run, I just... had no real desire. A mile in, I was done.
The same thing happened today. I ran 1.27 miles, and then just... stopped. Walked home and sat on my couch like a slug. Granted, I did do a short portion of my Strong Stride DVD after awhile, but, really. A total of less than 30 minutes of exercise today. And that's more than I've done since my race.
Part of me is upset with myself. Another part of me is completely letting myself off the hook. Neither part is completely right, and I know that. But something needs to change.
Of course, it doesn't help that I just stopped my birth control, and my body is all out of whack. Plus it's fall so it's getting dark earlier and it's darker in the mornings, too. Add to that how crazy busy our family schedule has been, and it's understandable that I've been slacking on running.
But when I look back on my life before I started running, I know I don't want to - can't - let myself get back there. So I have to go for a run, even when I think I don't want to. Because I know it's good for me, mentally as well as physically. I have to run.
I just need to figure out how to remind myself of that when the kids are at school and the couch is calling.