I let myself quit far too often. I tell myself it's fine, it doesn't matter. I let myself off the hook - and every time I do, another part of me shrivels up and becomes less than. Less than I could be. Less than I want to be. But it's ok. It's fine. Except that it's not.
I got very close to quitting again this week, with regards to my running. Not quitting entirely, just... letting myself off the hook for a race I have coming up. Saying it doesn't really matter, why put the pressure on myself? I've been sick. I haven't trained properly. It's not a big deal. Except that it is.
Then I read this post.
How do I want to feel on Tuesday? Like I did everything I could, and left it all on the road. Because in the end, who do I want to be? What version of myself? I've spent years being less than. Maybe it's time I tried a different tactic.
Mental toughness holds me back a LOT. I actually think I have the body to be a decent runner. My muscles never get tired, but if I get too winded, I back off right away. I hate that "pain" part of running. I'm the same about getting out the door--it's so hard sometimes! I have found that following a training plan leading up to a race is really helpful. The aimless runs just don't do it for me long term.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, if you've been ill, that's excusable! Completely!
But if I use my being sick as an excuse, when do I start holding myself accountable again? Better to just push on, right?
DeleteWithin reason I think! I have run several times when sick and I always feel better after. However, they say if you have a fever you should not run. I've done it, but I don't exactly push myself that hard (as mentioned above LOL).
DeleteI didn't run WHILE I was sick (I couldn't breathe, and I kind of need to do that to run LOL), but I just meant that if I say "Well, I'm better now, but I WAS sick for 6 weeks..." How long do I get to say that? At some point, I have to just be better, and get back to it! =)
DeleteGreat post, Di! I've been guilty of the same plenty of times. That is how I got overweight, didn't finish my program, quit writing, did a number of other things. People renew vows. Sometimes over areas of our lives require a little recommitment too. Start anew, fresh goals and outlook. Be excited, and get in to the game. You've got great support and plenty of cheering fans!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kara! It sure helps knowing I have you guys in my corner - even if I am the only "mortal" in the group! ;-)
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