Thursday, March 27, 2014

I'm Glad I'm Not Famous

I truly believe that every time I go out on a run, I learn something.  Either something about myself, or something about life, or something about the temperature at which Honey Stinger Waffles will freeze.  

That's right, today I learned that when it's 32 degrees outside, you shouldn't put your Honey Stinger Waffle in the pocket of your handheld, because between the coldness of the air, and the coldness of the water bottle, the darn thing will freeze. 

So that's #1 that I learned today:  Don't let your fuel source freeze while you're running in the woods! 

Thing #2 that I learned today:  When you put your gloves and  your buff in the pockets of your running jacket, people will do a double take as they pass you, because it looks as if you have an extra set of boobs.  (Or, in my case, a set of boobs) Granted, it also looks as if your boobs are around your waist, but they're pretty darn perky for being so low! 

Thing #3 that I learned today:  Never, ever run without your phone, because if you do, when you get home and start blogging about frozen waffles and glove-boobs, you will have no photographic evidence. *sigh*

Thing #4 that I learned today?  This one's a big one.  I am so glad that I'm not famous.  Holy moly. 

Picture this, if you will. (Or don't, if you scare easily.) Out of shape 35 year old woman with glove boobs trying to run up a hill while eating a frozen waffle.  Then add to that mental picture the fact that her nose is all stuffed up/snotty due to the freezing cold, so she can't actually BREATHE while running up said hill (because she's trying to chew), and then, boom.  It happens.  Snot bubble.  

Now do you understand why I don't want paparazzi following me around?  I mean, really.  It's  bad enough that I'm sitting here typing this, but can you imagine if there were photographic evidence? Has there ever been a snot bubble on the cover of People magazine?  Would US Weekly be calling?  I just can't imagine.  

Fortunately for me, you have to (if you're in to that kind of thing), because there's not actually any evidence that any of this really happened. 

Maybe I just stayed home today and watched the series finale of Psych.   Who knows.  

Was your run paparazzi worthy today? If not, want to be my running partner? It's snot so bad, you know. ;-)

14 comments:

  1. If the way we looked on a run determined whether we actually did the run, I wouldn't have left my house in six years.

    Your post made me laugh. We do everything we can to set ourselves up to enable a good run, but invariably the weather conditions or some other variable complicates what should be a zen-like experience.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! I try not to think about what I look like while running, most days. Some days, though.... oy. I feel bad for anyone who passes me on the trail. ;-)

      Delete
  2. You crack me up!! I don't really worry about how I look when I run, I'd rather thing I am graceful as a Kenyan and always look put together (my reality of course is far from this!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would love to move like a Kenyan runner! Too bad they're 3 times faster than I am. =)

      Delete
  3. This mad me laugh and laugh!! Although I'm amazed that you can eat a waffle while running. The snot bubble truly sent me over!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Usually they're super easy to eat. When they're frozen, it's harder! ;-)

      Delete
  4. Totally laughing at the snot bubble. Sounds like my life.

    I gave up eating during runs this winter. I was just happy if my drink didn't freeze...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This was actually the first run this winter that I took water and food. I guess I should have waited. =)

      Delete
  5. I have though about the famous thing too. I'm sure they run w/ bodyguards or at least another person, but still! What if you had to pee on the road? LOL

    Thanks for the laugh today!! I learn something new on many runs, too. Sometimes I relearn things I've forgotten because I am really dumb about running sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! I didn't even think about that! I did stop to pee during this run, but it was inside a building in an actual bathroom. LOL

      Delete
  6. Love it! Glad to know about all the things you learned!

    It's funny, I see famous people running in Central Park sometimes and they look just like everyone else and no one notices!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I probably wouldn't even recognize anyone famous if I saw them out and about. Especially not if I was running - I'd be too busy wondering if the rest of the world can see what a big dork I am. LOL

      Delete
  7. LOL! I can't imagine having every moment photographed like that. I don't think I ever want to know what I look like on a training run. I've seen plenty of my own race photos when I KNEW a photographer was right there and I still look awful, so I can't imagine if I wasn't prepared.

    I can't believe your waffle froze!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't believe it froze, either! It never even occurred to me that would happen!

      Delete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.